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Check out the Summary for more information. You can also read about my Personal Experience with this method.

The author presents a plan for potty training that involves “blocks” of learning. I will simplify these into 3 basic steps. In the summary, there is a section on kids under 20 months and over 30 months, daycare, parenting, and doing a “reset.” There are also more details about the sections below.

Pre-Potty Training

• Wearing a diaper is all your child knows, and it is reassuring to her.  You are guiding your kid through a developmental milestone. The goal is for them to understand how it feels when they have to pee/poop, and then know what to do.

• Commitment and consistency are important. Don’t be wishy-washy with potty training: commit, or don’t.

• You must be firm and in charge (not aggressive or mean). Follow through on things even if your kid doesn’t want to in the moment.

• Don’t wait until your kid is “ready.” Interest won’t increase the longer you wait. Instead, ask if your kid is able to do it.

• Get a potty chair. Once you put the chair out, commit to using it, or it will become a toy.

• Let go of expectations of how long potty training will take. This creates tension, which kids pick up on.

• Pick a time when you and your partner can drop everything to focus on potty training. Clear your social calendar.

• A week before starting, introduce the idea of getting rid of diapers in a relaxed and straightforward way. “On X day, we’re throwing out the diapers.”

• When you potty train is more important than the strategy. Aim for between 20-30 months. It’s easier before 20 months than after. Kids 30+ months may exert independence which creates power struggles. Around 24 months, kids want to please you and learn things quickly.

How

Step 1

• In a calm and clear voice, tell your kid she won’t be wearing diaper anymore, and will pee and poop on the potty.

• Keep your kid naked/without pants.

• Have your kid drink more fluid than usual.

• Spend all day watching your kid and getting her to the potty. Stay with your kid continually. When she starts to pee, calmly carry her to the potty. Celebrate or give verbal praise.

• Notice signs of when your kid has to pee.

• Tell, don’t ask, when its time to go to the potty.

• When your kid has an accident, kindly let them know that pee/poo doesn’t belong on the floor, but rather in the potty. Don’t say, “it’s ok.”

• The basic goal for this day is for parents to get a feel for when their kid needs to pee, and for the kid to raise their awareness of feeling like they have to pee and getting to the potty.

Step 2

• Move to this step only when your kid is using the potty consistency, either solo or prompted.

• Add clothes, but not underwear. It feels too much like a diaper.

• Try going out of the house for small periods of time. Time it for when your kid probably won’t have to pee.

• Prompt your kid to go pee with simple words (“go to the potty, sit down and pee.”). Do it when he’s showing signs of needing to pee and during transition times (before going out, etc.). Don’t do it too often, don’t beg, and don’t linger and stare.

• If your kid says no when your prompt him, keep an eye out, ask him to try, or bring the toy he’s using with him.

• If you encounter power struggles, try not to engage. Walk away. Don’t give the behavior attention.

Step 3

• Try longer outings.

• Start handing over control of the process to your kid. Try prompting and walking away.

• Even if you have setbacks, don’t bring out the diapers. Look for changes in your kid’s life/behavior that may be causing it.

• A month or so in, you can introduce using the toilet with an insert.

Nighttime/naptime

• It’s easiest to do all the potty training at once, but it’s hard, so many parents separate the nighttime piece to do later.

• If you aren’t doing it all at once, then at naptime or nighttime when you put a diaper on your kid, tell your kid that he’ll be using a diaper because it’s hard to get up to pee while sleeping, but he’ll take it off right after.

• To nighttime train, cut off fluids 2-3 hours before bedtime.

• Wake your kid up twice in the middle of the night (3-4 hours after bedtime, then 3-4 hours later). You’re preventing your kid from peeing in bed and teaching her to get up to pee.

• Put the potty chair right by the bed, then lift/help your kid onto it when you wake her.

• As you notice which waking results in more pee, cut down to waking once a night.

• Move the waking closer and closer to morning until your kid can successfully go all night, or wakes herself up to pee.

• Don’t wait until your kid is past 3.5 to night train or you risk long term bedwetting issues.

Poop

• Use books under your kid’s feet to bring their legs into a squatting position.

• The signs that your kid needs to poop may be different than the ones for peeing. They may go somewhere private.

• Have your kid in the bathroom when you poop sometimes so they see it’s normal.

• If it helps, you can sit and read with your kid when they need to poop.

• It’s normal for kids to hold in their poop or poop in their naptime/nighttime diaper for the first couple days. Stay calm or you could make it worse.

• It’s physically harder to poop when nervous/scared/shy. Stay relaxed and positive and don’t hover.

• Don’t give your kid a diaper to poop in. Acknowledge that it feels weird for your kid to poop on the potty, but keep going and be consistent.

In the book, the author answers many questions and provides many more specific examples. For instance, there is information on kids who were premature or have developmental delays, what to do if you kid gets sick during potty training, etc. There is also a chapter on Elimination Communication that I didn’t include since it’s not a very common practice. I highly recommend reading the book if you are having trouble with potty training or need more information. The tone is humorous, making the book fun and easy to read.

You can buy the book on Amazon or Bookshop.org.