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For more detail, read the full Summary. It’s also helpful to read some sample language in the Example section. Check out my Personal Experience to see what worked for me from this book.

The driving force behind the strategies in this book is positive attention. The strategies are positive, firm (steadfast in your values) and consistent. The book also focuses on teaching cooperation and self-reliance.

Strategies:

Descriptive Praise is when parents specifically describe the positive things their kids are doing. This teaches kids how to behave and motivates them to keep earning praise.

Think-throughs are a short back and forth during which parents ask specific questions about a rule/behavior and the child answers in his own words. This helps kids understand and remember expectations and rules.

Preparing for Success encompasses multiple strategies to set the stage for good behavior.

• Physically adjust the environment, like hanging up charts or reminders of rules, or putting away items you don’t want your kids to play with.

• Be realistic about plans, especially with regards to time. Give yourself extra time.

• Schedule Special Time, daily 10 minute chunks of time when a kid and parent do an activity they both like.

Having a United Front means parents should be on the same page about rules, routines, and parenting strategies. Kids need consistency. Have regular talks with your partner to problem solve.

Reflective Listening is when parents reflect back how they imagine their kids might be feeling. This teaches kids emotional intelligence so they can express themselves, and helps them move feelings quicker.

Never Ask Twice is a strategy to get your kid to stop doing one thing and do another. You use steps that involve physically going to your kid, standing in front of them, giving an instruction, having them repeat it back, and waiting.

Consequences

• Most punishments don’t work. Instead, parents can stay calm and positive, offer alternatives, empathize, give clues to the correct behavior, and model the behavior. Parents should always be consistent.

• Always follow through with what you say. If you kid doesn’t listen, that may mean taking away an object, removing your child from the situation, etc.

• When your kid has a tantrum, sit nearby, and let them have their feelings. Don’t talk until they’ve calmed down. Have your kid follow through on what he was supposed to do, and make amends.

• Action Replays are a short, effective consequence that consists of replaying the situation with your child doing the right thing this time.

• A Sit Apart is a consequence during which your child has to sit in one place, like a time out but with the parent present.

Rewards can help motivate better behavior. They should be daily, free, and easily achieved. Some examples are praise, hugs, extra books at bedtime, board game with a parent, etc.

Conclusion

Try these strategies and watch how they change your kid’s behavior. You may see a change with these strategies, but then have things go back to normal because you feel into old habits. That’s natural; just try again the next day.

As well as going into much more detail and offering a ton of examples, the full book has Q&A sections throughout which are very helpful for answering common questions that may come up when practicing these strategies. There are also tips for each of the common problem areas, like meals and bedtime. I benefited a lot from this book, so I highly recommend picking it up if you like what you’ve read in the summary.

Buy the book on Amazon or Bookshop.org.