This page contains affiliate links. I participate in the Amazon Associates and Bookshop.org programs and can earn from qualifying purchases. Please read my full statement here.

****************

If you are interested by this Quick Look, I recommend checking out the full Summary. You can also read my Personal Experience to see how I’ve applied these ideas to my parenting.

The Family Firm by Emily Oster takes business ideas and applies them to managing a family.

To make most day-to-day decisions:

• Come up with your family values and priorities. This includes goals and must-do activities.  

• Make or clarify house rules.

• Delegate responsibilities to family members.

• Coordinate schedules.

For bigger/more complex decisions, use the “Four Fs:” Frame the Question (what’s the decision?), Fact-Find (get evidence, data, talk to others), Final Decision, and Follow up (revisit and learn from the experience).

Data to help make decisions:

• Sleep is very important.

• Childcare: It doesn’t appear to make a difference if parents work or stay home.

• Nutrition: Serve smaller portions of food, try dips/sauce, serve veggies before an entrée, don’t offer alternatives, don’t restrict or force certain foods.

• Parenting: Some involvement is good, too much may be negative but it’s unclear. Prepare kids for when they need to fend for themselves.

• School: look for good teachers, small class size, teacher interaction and feedback. High quality homework may help a bit. Make time for reading and let kids pick their own books.

• Extracurriculars

  • Playing sports increases fitness level and could encourage lasting exercise habits.

  • A third of kids get a sports-related injury. Football has highest rate of concussions, but soccer, boys’ wrestling and girls’ basketball are high, too.

  • Playing instruments doesn’t appear to have much effect on school performance.

  • Extracurriculars, even a couple hours a week, can bring socioemotional benefits.

  • Camps can boost self esteem, especially kids who feel isolated/different.

  • Don’t worry about summer learning loss. Tutoring can help but comes with opportunity cost.

• Feelings

  • To teach kids empathy, talk about emotions. Use books to discuss how characters feel.

  • Anti-bullying and prosocial programs can help.

  • Having some friends and a happy home life builds resilience to protect against harmful effects of bullying.

  • Cognitive behavioral therapy can help kids with anxiety and depression.

• Entertainment:

  • There is no clear cut data saying if screen time is good or bad, or how much to allow. Instead, parents can look at what their kids are giving up when they use screens (playing outside, reading, etc.)

  • Content matters. Try using Common Sense Media to make appropriate choices.

  • Video games probably don’t have long term effects on violence, but games that teach skills or nurture creativity may be more beneficial.

  • Screen time around bedtime is bad for sleep, for kids and adults.

  • Parents need to make decisions about social media limits and check-ins. The effects of social media depends on the kid, so look for warning signs. Most kids have limited effects.

I really enjoy Emily Oster’s other books and writing (she has a website called ParentData and sends out newsletters). She is practical, smart, straightforward, and humorous. It’s much easier to read parenting books, especially books with data, by an author that is funny and can explain things well. I often walk away with interesting and helpful data to make tweaks to my day to day.

Buy Family Firm on Amazon or Bookshop.org.